I honestly don't get it. I don't understand why some people feel the need to look down on other people's babies because they weren't sitting by 6 months, or crawling by 8 months, or walking by a year or WHATEVER! Those kids will figure it out eventually in their own time, so what's your problem?! It literally has nothing, at all, to do with you and your child. As if parents don't worry enough on their own about whether their child is "meeting their milestones," they certainly don't need you to chime in about how "ahead" your baby was.
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| Desperately Trying to Go Forward |
Thankfully I haven't been the recipient of this sort of crap (at least not to my face, anyway) but I have friends who have--and makes me angry. It makes me really angry. What kind of sad adult feels the need to pick on a baby? Why do we need to make life a race right from the very beginning?!
I'm not saying that you should feel shy or ashamed to be proud of your babies accomplishments--or that you shouldn't share those new exciting thing with your family and friends--because you should totally share them! It's important to celebrate the little things. But there's no excuse, ever, for the "My baby is better than your baby" syndrome. I absolutely love hearing about the new things my friends little's have accomplished... it's so exciting to see them grow and change as they get older but I try really hard not to compare our babies or push Peter into things before he's ready because someone else's kid has already done it. Sometimes it can be a tough line to walk and we don't even realize we're doing it.
So I encourage you to pay closer attention to the ways you talk about your baby to others, and the way you react to the news of other people's littles. Is it supportive? If not, keep your mouth shut because no one needs to hear it--especially a baby.
I tend to compare my two as there's a big age gap between them but I never compare my baby to other people's.
ReplyDeleteI found that Oscar is a lot more advanced for his age than Stacey was. However, I think that's because he looks up to his big sister and thinks he can do all clever things, not because we're pushing him too hard.
All babies develop at different stages and you're totally right, we shouldn't belittle others or feel crap in ourselves about it. They will get there when they're ready.
Great post - now following :)
Louise x
Confessions of a Secret Shopper
Thanks for your comment. (and the follow!) I think it's pretty natural to compare a second child against the first one, because that's the only experience you know so far!
DeleteI'm sure little Oscar has got a great role model big sister to strive after, and like you say, they all get there eventually when they're ready. Keep up the great work mum!
Been there...I don't know, I think some women go a bit crazy with the lack of cerebral activity during maternity leave and need so petty stuff like this to fill their lives :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment. I don't know what it is that causes parents to go down this judgement road, but it's not just moms--dad's are guilty of it too.
DeleteI agree that this "my baby is better than your baby" trend is quite annoying. However, I feel more concerned about what type of pressure this will amount to for the child.
ReplyDeleteIt means HUGE pressure for the babies! Although they aren't old enough at that age to understand that they're being judged because they can't sit up/crawl yet (or whatever!) the are certainly capable of detecting the emotions of people around them, and they can recognize negative energy. It's especially troublesome if this criticism from people then makes mom/dad push their little one harder to "catch up." I don't know when life became about racing each other all the time, but surely we should be trying to keep our babies out of that madness for as long as possible!
DeleteWell said. No baby, or child of any age, should be judged or compared. The goal should be a collective effort to do what is best for your child and for any other child/parents you touch. We're all on the same team ... humankind.
ReplyDeleteAmen to that!
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