What's in Your Closet: Having Hard Conversations

There's a really awesome video going around right now of a TED talk that happened in Boulder, Colorado by a woman named Ash Beckham. She talks about how important it is to have "hard conversations" with people, and that no matter what your "hard conversation" is, hard is hard. There's no comparing my hard against your hard--it's just hard. Her talk is about encouraging people to leave their closets behind and have those hard talks, because a closet is no place for a person to live.

Ash is a lesbian and part of her talk was about her coming out of her own closet, which she describes as having rainbow walls--but walls that no one could see, because it was dark inside. She talks about how difficult it was for her to have that hard conversation with people, and she shares how some of those conversations went. One of the stories she shares is about having that hard conversation with a 4 year old girl in a restaurant and the life lessons learned from pancakes. I'd like to share her video with you now.

ASH BECKHAM--IGNITE BOULDER

Not having those hard conversations is like a holding onto a grenade, but that doesn't make it any easier to say what needs to be said and leave our closets behind. There's a website called Post Secret that's been around for quite some time now, and essentially they help people take the first step in coming out of their closets by offering a way to anonymously share their hard conversation with the world. You send them a postcard with your "secret" on it and they upload them to their website to
display for all to see.

What makes it so difficult to have these hard conversations with one another? Fear of rejection or disappointment? Fear of causing pain or suffering to others? Or a fear of being open and vulnerable? The bottom line is that it doesn't matter what your hard conversation is about--it's hard, and it needs to happen...because the longer you wait, the more time you give that grenade to explode.

I've seen first hand how hard those conversations can be, and I've seen how beautiful life can become once they've been had. The boy-o has the lucky fortune of having a pair of Aunties on one side instead of an Aunt and Uncle, and I hope that he grows up inspired by their courage to have had their hard conversation.

But like Ash tells us, stepping out of a rainbow closet isn't the only hard conversation people have. No matter what your hard conversation is about--step out of your closet into the sunshine, because a closet is no place for a person to live.